Intimate coaching is the way forward for managers

In our CoachQuest program for developing leaders as coaches, we teach managers the process of coaching to:

1. Be intimate and better understand themselves and others, adapting their style to influence superior results.
2. Be intentional about the workplace experience they create, driving culture and results.
3. Be interactive and involve others to drive higher levels of empowerment, accountability, and engagement and integrate reinforcing and redirecting feedback into daily activities.
4. Be iterative and improve the quality and quantity of coaching to raise performance and engagement.

Today, I want to home in on intimacy and self-coaching. People and organizations move in the direction of the questions they ask themselves. What better way can we gain deep and profound insight than when we embed the practice of reflection time into our working lives?

In my Leadership Intimacy® philosophy, I recommend 4 kinds of Intimacy:

1. Organizational Intimacy
   Being hyper-familiar and having full understanding of your organization’s strategically aligned goals, behaviors, and core values — the business outcomes of Culture and Results. Organizational Intimacy requires the courage to create a not-to-do list. It means challenging yourself to focus on those activities that will create wins. During your reflection time, ask yourself:
   • What can I do more, less, or differently to create better outcomes?
   • How can I ensure I add value to the business?
   • Am I aligned to business objectives?
2. Self-Intimacy
   Being hyper-familiar and aware of yourself to the point of possessing an in-depth self-knowledge. Being comfortable with self-disclosure and excellent at self-regulation. During reflection time, review your strengths and developmental areas. Ask yourself:
   • Am I executing my action plan and addressing the gaps?
   • What is working?
   • What is not working as it relates to how I Feel. Think. Act. Talk?
3. Social Intimacy
   Being hyper-familiar and having a deep awareness of the others you interact with — each direct report, each peer, each manager, your customers, etc. During your reflection time, ask yourself:
   • Whom do I need to reach out to and connect with?
   • What REAL conversations am I avoiding?
4. Influential Intimacy
   Intimate Leaders are able to use this hyper-familiarity and understanding of organizational goals, personal character and competence, and social or interpersonal proficiency as a compelling power to positively influence the behavior of all. To facilitate growth of everyone involved — growth as human beings, growth as a team, and growth as an organization. During your reflection time, ask yourself:
   • What is my game plan for influencing those around me?
   • How am I attracting people towards commitment and performance?
   • What am I doing to repel?
   • Whom did I leave in the red state and how do I remedy that?
   • How can I coach for high commitment and high performance?

I hope to encourage you and gently push you to spend at least an hour per week reflecting on those actions that will guide you to become a better person, better teammate, better partner, and better leader.

Good Luck on your journey!
Want your managers to learn unique coaching skills to advance performance and engagement? Let’s talk.

Want to receive leadership news updates? Subscribe!

Follow us on LinkedIn