Eureka! Stop trying so hard!
August 26, 2013
How to Align a Slacker
September 10, 2013

The great majority of CEOs (88% by one count) agree that Executive Maturity is a critical leadership skill. By maturity they mean the ability to adjust and manage change in a mature way. Your ability to act with self-regulation, to control or redirect your potentially disruptive impulses and moods depends on your ability to 1) suspend judgment, 2) think before acting, and 3) respond in a way that will achieve the result you want.

The best responders, I recently discovered are as calm and collected as the virtual assistant in your smartphone. It’s as if they’ve been introduced to the Coaching Conversation techniques I train leaders to use. So I set out to see which of the two most popular assistants is better at responding to a difficult question.

Humans first

Before we evaluate the virtual assistants, let’s put a potentially explosive set of questions to a couple of imaginary humans—an immature manager and and a couple of testy administrative assistants. Here’s how such exchanges might go:

MANAGER: Have you seen my project folder?
ASSISTANT: No.

MANAGER: You need to be more observant about where I leave project folders.
ASSISTANT: You need to be more organized. I am not your babysitter.

Not an ideal way to achieve the results you want, agreed? Let’s try again from the immature manager’s blame-game remark.

MANAGER: You need to be more observant about where I leave project folders.
ASSISTANT: Why do you always blame me for misplacing it?

Do you agree that neither of these folks have much to teach us about maturity? Now let’s see how two virtual assistants actually handled the same questions and remarks.

Speaktoit

speaktoit_3901MANAGER: Have you seen my project folder?
SPEAKTOIT: I can’t really say at the moment.

MANAGER: Why don’t you know?
SPEAKTOIT: My capabilities are still limited, but I’m learning new things everyday. Give me a little time and I should be able to help you with that.

MANAGER: You need to be more observant about where I leave project folders.
SPEAKTOIT: I’m not exactly sure. If you want me to find a map for you, just say the word.

Siri

siri-logoMANAGER: Have you seen my project folder?
SIRI: I haven’t.

MANAGER: Why not?
SIRI: I can’t say.

MANAGER: You need to be more observant about where I leave project folders.
SIRI: I do, eh?

MANAGER: Yes, you do.
SIRI: That’s what I figured.

Mature Executive

I know I’m going to hear, “I don’t want to sound like a robot!” But you do want to achieve the objectives of your conversations, right? Well, starting with what we’ve just learned from Siri and Speaktoit, let’s see two ways a Immature Executive and a Mature Assistant could handle things even better.

IMMATURE EXECUTIVE: You need to be more observant about where I leave project folders.
MATURE ASSISTANT: Can we retrace your steps to find out where it might be?”

IMMATURE EXECUTIVE: You need to be more observant about where I leave project folders.
MATURE ASSISTANT: When was the last time you saw the folder?”

The mature assistant’s response keeps the focus on the end result of finding the folder and ignores the immature executive’s game of blaming his assistant for his disorganization.

How to Use Your De-trigger Muscle

You already have what you need to consistently react maturely. I call it your de-trigger muscle. Like any muscle, you have to first, learn how to use it, then practice using it in order to develop the habit of responding rationally, like an adult, to the kinds of events that currently kick you into your reactive mode.

To review how to engage you de-trigger muscle, see 4 Steps Toward Executive Maturity. Insofar as who’s more mature, I think Speaktoit did a better job of focusing on the objective of the conversation. Siri dodged the focus and even showed a bit of attitude. Let me know what you think in a comment below.

Also consider developing your Executive Maturity alongside other leaders at our next CoachQuest Leader-as-Coach Workshop.


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Helanie Scott
Helanie Scott
Helanie (pronounced yeh-LAH-nee) Scott, CEO and founder of Align4Profit in Dallas, Texas, has driven stunning leadership and cultural transformations for an impressive list of organizations. She has mastered the ability to connect with her audiences in the boardroom, classroom, on stage, or in one-on-one coaching sessions. Helanie’s Align4Profit clients rave at the way her engaging programs freshen outdated mindsets and deliver results-oriented, aligned action.